How to Keep Growing Your Business Without Losing Your Spouse and Kids (pt. 3)

Do you have 0% fear and 100% confidence in every area of your life? Great! You can skip this post.

BUT if you ever have “what if’s” that keep you awake at night, or find yourself driven to do things you know aren’t helpful because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t… this 10-minute fix could be the answer you’ve been waiting for.

We’ve been exploring the case of a business person who is CONSTANTLY working and never takes time for their family, and how in this case their behavior is driven by fear of lack or fear of loss.

If you truly care about your family but you’re afraid you won’t be able to give them what they need, then overwork is a natural solution.

But it’s toxic.

The truth is, many of the most financially successful people I’ve met (and perhaps you’ve met some, too) are also the most stressed because they can never seem to rest and enjoy what they have without worrying whether it will last or if it’s enough.

However, picture this…

You work hard for a reasonable amount of time each day, and then you go home. 

I mean, you REALLY go home. 

You aren’t thinking about the current project on your plate or the next one to come.

You’re not worried about the results from the last job or event.

You’re just home, enjoying life with your family, living with joy in the present moment, and your family is glad to have you around.

You sleep soundly and wake refreshed, energized and ready for another productive day, but not driven by the fear that if you don’t DO enough, you won’t HAVE enough.

Does that life sound like it’s worth an investment of 10 minutes a day? Good, keep reading.


If you want to break free from a mindset of scarcity and/or insecurity, there’s only one way to do it: replace your old thought pattern with a new one.

Maybe that seems like a “duh” statement, but just because something is simple to see doesn’t mean it’s easy to do.

It turns out thought patterns built over the course of years can’t be erased with the snap of a finger, but they CAN be changed with one simple exercise carried out consistently.

Most experts say that if you want AMAZING results in retraining your brain, you need to devote at least 30-45 minutes every day to a routine of mindfulness, visualization, and prayer or meditation.

Maybe that sounds totally doable to you, but if you’re like me and find it hard to swallow taking THAT much time out of your day, I have good news.

You can start small and still make progress.

My recommendation is to block out 5 minutes in the morning soon after you wake up, and five minutes in the evening not long before you go to bed, and meditate on these questions as they seem relevant to you.

Here we go.

BEATING FEAR OF LACK (Scarcity Mindset)

If you find yourself concerned that you don’t or won’t have enough, it’s time to put down on paper what “enough” ACTUALLY looks like. Start by considering and answering the following questions and writing your answers down.

• QUESTION 1: What do I TRULY need to be happy?

   + What possessions/circumstances/experiences do you want you and your family to have?

   + What income do you need to make that happen?

• QUESTION 2: Which of these do I have now, and which do I not have yet?

   + For the things you have, give THANKS.

  + For the things you lack, make a PLAN.

• QUESTION 3: If I NEVER get everything I want, how bad would that REALLY be?

   + Visualize a future where you DO have everything on your list. Let yourself feel the satisfaction.

   + Now visualize a future where you DON’T have everything you want, but envision yourself being content anyway. Let yourself feel the peace.

Once you’ve put your answers down on paper, this becomes an anchor point to which you return in the morning and evening. By reviewing these things regularly, two things will happen.

First, you’ll be setting your subconscious “goal-mechanism” to start leading you towards the things you ACTUALLY want, which will help you achieve them.

Second, you’ll be training your brain to let yourself rest and feel content while you work towards your goals, and still be at peace if you don’t achieve them in the way you want.

BEATING FEAR OF LOSS (Insecurity Mindset)

If you find yourself worried that you may lose what you have, it’s time to write down what that would actually look like, and how you would recover. Start by considering and answering the following questions and writing your answers down.

• QUESTION 1: If I lost __________, what’s the absolute WORST thing that could happen as a result?

   + Consider how it would feel for you.

   + Consider how it would affect the people you care about.

• QUESTION 2: What would I do next to start to recover and be okay?

   + Imagine what next actions you would take.

   + Think through where those actions could lead you.

• QUESTION 3: Have people like me experienced loss like that before and been okay in the end?

   + Think about stories of overcoming, and imagine yourself as that person.

   + Consider how MANY people have gone through what you fear, and remind yourself that if they made it through, so can you.

Once again, putting your answers down on paper gives your brain something more “solid” to focus on.

Then, by reviewing your answers each day, you’ll be rewiring your neural pathways to focus on positive opportunities instead of negative possibilities.

When you do that, I believe you’ll finally get some peace and feel released to come home earlier, spend more time with the people you love, and not only provide for a “lifestyle,” but truly build a life.


p.s. If you could use a partner to help you navigate these things, I’d love to help. Just click the “Schedule a Call” button in the nav bar, and let’s chat!

Photo by Tsvetoslav Hristov on Unsplash


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